Forgiveness isn’t a weakness. It’s the ultimate sign of courage and strength.
We humans – we’re complex creatures who are deep and passionate in which we believe. We have body, soul, and spirit which tends to drive us forward, to progress our needs and desires and we use moral judgements to guide our moral compass.
No matter how good your intentions, you can pretty much guarantee that at some point or another, you’ll hurt those you love. It really sucks when it happens, it really sucks that life is not all peaches and cream all the time, but I have good news that pain we talked about is not always your fault.
Sometimes the shoe fits on the other foot with people and naturally, you’ll feel hurt by those you trust and love, too. And when you feel you’ve been wronged, that’s where things get tricky. Oh My God it happens to me all the time.
I am constantly trying to let go of the things that are out of my control but sometimes that Ginger Red Head Super Power gets hot and sizzling. I have it working for my benefit these days and just walk away saying “OHHHHHHH_SAAAAAAA” over and over balancing out my feelings. I think to myself constantly where in the world is the cold tub after a good sauna when I need it?
I know body language really well, I know micro expressions well too and when I catch people in a lie which happens all the time (daily) I feel unbelievably discouraged with those people. Even when people are asking questions to ascertain info and walk away from others it can really hurt people. People need to understand people can suck! Greed, Envy, Hate and past experience molds a person into the being they are today.
Believe me there are some great books on body language and expressions and micro expressions that I have read and studied but make sure you read and cross-reference the geographical locations people are from. It is the key to understanding gestures and body language.
Back to the lesson,
Because we are all conscious (especially while reading this), loving and growth-minded people, we all know we “should” forgive.
Forgiveness is vital part to maintaining long-term relationships in sport, business, school, family and friends and life. (A fact we cling to when we’re the ones hoping to be forgiven!)
Studies from Berkeley indicate that forgiveness helps us lead happier, healthier lives. But sometimes — that whole “forgive and forget” thing doesn’t quite add up. Why should it right?
There’s a pattern of transgressions when it comes to people actions. I have witnessed people stealing people’s money because they could get aways with it before their eyes.
Something deep within you suspects that just “wiping the slate clean” is not the most intelligent nor safest path ahead — emotionally, spiritually, financially or physically you must protect yourself from the illusion or deception of others.
“People have forgotten due to social conditioning the difference between needs and wants.”
If you’ve ever wondered whether you really need to forgive and forget, I am really looking at making a video that may give you a fresh perspective to consider for the rest of your life to and use tactics of forgiveness to make your life more fulfilling. Sign up and I will let you know when it has arrived online.
I’d love to hear from you on this topic of forgiveness. I have struggled all my life from being bullied because I am a red-head, I was a figure skater, I was the youngest child of 4 and being 12 years younger than my youngest brother. I was thought as the oops child not meant to be here on this earth.
I took a beating emotionally in school, in sport, in life just because I’m different. I admit it In the end it has made me stronger in life and in business that has for sure allowed me to stand up against tyrants who thought or thinks beating other people up emotionally or physically was okay. People it is not OKAY! I will not stand for it and I thank my Pop (Dad) for teaching me self-defense, verbal dialog to disengage, and posturing to be able to get myself, and others out of situations that can be seriously harmful. My father Fred was an amazing man and I wish he was with us today, and as a World War Two Veteran he had me stand up to one of my teacher who smacked me across my face as a 13-year-old on the ice and my father witnessed the moment. My father never hit me, punched me, or hurt me so why should others be able to hit me he said.
So Pop had me go down to the ice level and wait for my one teacher to exit the ice. I water was not fuming, but he looked at me in the eyes and said Sean if you want to be here you need to stand and wait for your teacher to leave the ice and tell him if he ever touches you or hurts you in any way ever again the police will be called and his lawyers will be summoned for assault. I stood and shakes deep down and I never felt so scared but I stood up to a bully telling him what my father said. I also asked him why he hit me and he said I was just joking around. I said hitting a person is wrong unless you are defending yourself why would you hit a person if you are being nice? It never made sense to me acting like that. I saw it happen many times and then I took a stand one day again as an adult and vowed to never be like that I will come to that in a moment.
I drove home from training in my car feeling weird and uneasy to return the next day and that moment never happened again with me. But that coach continued to do this action to other people and one day I stood up to him to protect the other people from him. All I can say is that I was lucky to have been given this God-given voice and massive size. But what is really good is to have a person like me around to make sure I take one for the team. I believe in protecting which is right, which is true, which is good for the team. Leadership is tough, leadership is about everything you stand for, and sometimes you need to forgive.
I see coaches, teachers, parents, and skaters and business people bully all the time in my sport, in life, and I know it is out there all over the world. In this day and age we do not need this crap in our lives.
I get it we are all human, and we are all complex creatures. I know I have said it before, live your life with passion and live it to the fullest. Stand strong with the people who support you and that will listen to you. Author Brené Brown said it best, have a short list of the go to people who will listen to your story, and that deserve to hear your story. People that will try to understand and still see you the same way before you started telling your story. It will be a super short list I am sure but choose wisely who these people will be. Forgiveness and Shame are powerful subjects and well they can be a game changer.
Leave everything you have out there on the ice or stage, or in life and compete there, ignite the fire within you there, but when you are backstage, in the kiss and cry, or at home or on the streets chill and be kind to one another. It is a tough enough world out there to be alone
We all have stories, we all have things that pain us, we all have things that make us happy too. Conditioning the soul is important to be happy and it is important to train ourselves to forgive. I know it sucks believe me I know. But releasing the shame and the burden for someone else that hurt you can be enlightening. It does not mean you will trust in them again. It does not mean you will ever forget, noooooo! But what it does mean is you don’t have to carry that grudge anymore on your own shoulders. Lift that weight off your shoulders and fly hi.
Have you ever wrestled with forgiving someone, or rebuilding trust after it’s been broken? In terms of forgiving and forgetting, what’s worked for you?
Let us know in the comments below with as much love and compassion (for yourself and others!) as you can muster*.
Share as much detail as makes good sense. Thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration and your story may provide a possibility of hope and healing that someone else really needs.
Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be deleted as they come across as spammy.
Looking forward to hearing your voice on this one.
Because the only way we’ll soothe pain, for ourselves and others, is by sharing our stories with open hearts and by staying open and willing to the miracle of healing.
P.S. *Yes, we know forgiveness is an enormous subject and it’s not possible to adequately cover every facet in this short format. Heck, most of us spend our entire lives trying to embrace and embody this virtue. We’re also aware of the unspeakable events that occur beyond the scope of this reader’s situation, for which forgiveness can seem outside of our current capacity.
With so much happiness to share,
Have a great day everyone and share this with the world. All the best and Live Life with Passion!